Cactii

Okay, what possessed me to let my 5 and 7 year old pick out and bring home their very own cactus to take care of? Their cute fuzziness made of prickles? Their interesting shapes that your dirty mind shouldn't be thinking of? Their greenness? Well, here's the story. Asia and I were at Home Depot. Yes, the construction supermarket of the gods where no stereotypical woman would go since it's so hard to find anything if you're unfamiliar with the layout and the terms. Unless you're just looking for paint. Or something for the garden. Signs like Paint and Garden are pretty helpful and straightforward. So Asia and I were outside in the garden area. John and Zach were over in the manly sections... looking for some gadgets to fix our darn fence gate that I can't stand. Back to the garden area. So Asia and I were looking around to see what foliage or flowers were still available to purchase during the end of the season. What color could I still put in those empty pots littering my front porch? I found some pretty mums, I think. Which are the same as carnations? Maybe not because then they'd be called carnations. Anyway, some pretty budding flowers. I chose two yellow ones and Asia chose a purple one. She was sitting in the cart with the flowers, which is unwise - something I found out when I took the crushed flowers home. Anyway, there wasn't much to buy besides shrubs and vines and trees, so as we were making our way to the checkout inside, lo and behold, we ran into a display of cactii and succulents. Doesn't those names sound enticing enough? Cactii and Succulents. Get them here. Way to go Home Depot marketing. The cashier even said that it seemed like a lot of people were buying cactus today. So there's this display of all these cute plants. Very few had prickles on them. And under 5 dollars each! So I told Asia she could pick one. I chose two. They looked so harmless. Then I called John and told him to meet us at the display so that Zach could pick one. While we were waiting, we looked at the other side of the display, and there were even prettier plants to choose from. Asia changed her mind and wanted this cute one that had this big pink blob on top. Again, no prickles that I could see. Then she looked at the top of the display and there were these long cactus plants each with a bring pink flower shooting out of the top. Asia changed her mind again and said she definitely wanted one of those. Well, of course, that had to be one of the prickliest of the bunch. Just a long tube of fine green prickles. Little feather looking ones. They didn't even look very sharp. We even touched them and it didn't hurt. By that time, Zach and John had joined us. Zach proceeded to find the scariest looking cactus of them all. Huge big prickles in threes all over the thing. But they were so big, I figured you couldn't miss them and therefore wouldn't touch them.
Anyway, we made it through checkout without any issue. Asia and Zach wanted to carry their cactus plants to the car and on the way home. We stopped by a grocery store so I could grab some milk, bread, and whatnot and when I came back, there was a little crying girl in the car. John, Zach, and Asia stayed in the car while I shopped - makes me shop faster. Very slick. Anyway, I found out that somehow, the plastic sleeve on Asia's plant had fallen off and also the plastic pot. So Asia was holding the catcus by the dirt roots. I opened the door and found the pot and the sleeve and put the cactus back in there. I asked her why she was still crying. Turns out she had prickles everywhere. Perhaps the cactus plant fell and she decided to catch them with her legs! Luckily she wasn't wearing shorts, but the prickles went through her pants anyway. The most painful was the one in her thumb. She wouldn't let us touch it. But she pointed out the prickles in her legs. About around her ankles like she had clamped her ankles together to catch or hold the cactus. All these little green pins on one side of her left and right ankle. I was going to try pulling them out but she insisted that no one should touch the prickles, but her. So she proceeded to start pulling them out, all the time crying. I called her Dr. Cactus. She was performing a medical feat on her own. On her self. She actually did manage to pull out most of those green prickles. John took out the rest later when we got home. He's the king of removing splinters, so removing prickles fell into his category.
So what possessed me to let them get those prickly plants and even replant them into nice pots and display them in my office and dining room? That darn Home Depot marketing.